The myth of the self- made man

Have you heard this one? That rich guy over there, he's a self- made man. People sometimes say it of others, but usually people say it of themselves if they feel their lives are particularly boast-worthy. The implication is that the person is where he or she is solely as the result of their own efforts. Rags to riches stories become "look what I did all by myself" stories. "I didn't rely on anyone to get where I am today, especially not the GOVERNMENT!!"

Laying the government question aside (does anyone really think that the infrastructure that our taxes pay for have nothing to do with why they've been allowed to succeed in this country?), the idea of a self- made individual is nonsense. I've been a parent for about seven months now. My wife and I have a 6 month old infant and an 18 month old toddler that we just adopted from Ethiopia. I've been feeding Isaac (our Ethiopian son) and changing his diapers every day. A few days ago it dawned on me that if I wasn't there to stuff oatmeal in his mouth in the mornings, Isaac wouldn't survive. There's no way he could help himself. The fact that he's alive today is due solely because a few dedicated women at an orphanage in Ethiopia fed him constantly for six months after he was discovered as an abandoned newborn.

And then another revelation dawned on me: the fact that any of us are alive today is because somebody took the time to feed us, clothe us, and change our diapers when we couldn't do these things for ourselves. Somebody did that for me. In my case, it was my parents. For others, it may be an orphanage, an aunt or a cousin, or a foster parent. Even those raised in abusive situations, if they survived the toddler phase, it's because someone saw to it that they survived, perhaps even the abusive parent!

So before you make the claim that you're a self- made man (or woman), think about this. At one point in your life, in order for you to survive, somebody had to feed you, clothe you, change you, and wipe your butt. And that "self- made" man or woman that you admire so much? Somebody had to wipe their butt too. Humbling isn't it?

Adjusting to inter-racial adoption

A few weeks ago I traveled to Ethiopia to pick up our adopted son Isaac. Isaac was abandoned as a newborn infant and spent the first year and a half of his life in an orphanage. Thankfully, the orphanage was staffed with loving Christian women that showered him with hugs and kisses. The flip side, however, is that there were--surprisingly--more workers than children, so Isaac had people at his beck and call 24/7, and since the goal of an orphanage in Ethiopia is to nourish the babies until their adoptive parents come for them, discipline was hardly emphasized. Whenever Isaac wanted something, all he had to do was to scream, hit, and throw his toys and he got exactly what he wanted--not easy habits to break.

So what's my new life like as an inter-racial parent? Well, for starters, my days of staying up until midnight and sleeping in are history. It's one thing to father an infant. It's quite another thing to father an infant and a toddler at the same time. The two boys are a year apart which makes it difficult for my wife who is still breastfeeding Christian, our six-month old son.

Since Isaac spent the first year and a half of his life with other people and is now suddenly thrust into a completely different setting, he has some separation anxiety. For the first two weeks, he wanted to be held every second of the day, and when I put him down, he would scream to the top of his lungs. I used to make fun of dads that seem to have no problem reducing themselves to the role of Pee-Wee Herman in order to entertain their toddlers. Now after spending 21 hours on an airplane with my own toddler, it's official. I get it.

Adjusting to an international/inter-racial adoption is difficult, but one of the things that I haven't had to deal with--at least not yet--is dirty looks and insensitive remarks. Everywhere my wife and I go, people are warm and friendly with us and our son. Black people, white people, Hispanics and Native Americans; the reactions are all the same. Some--especially white people-- will go out of their way to show their approval.

I'm under no illusion that things will stay this way. Nor do I think that our family is immune to the challenges that inter-racial families in the U.S. inevitably face. Following good advice, I've taken the time to study black history and black culture, familiarizing myself with the struggles that African American males face in the U.S. I know that individual and institutional racism remain an open wound to many black Americans. Still, I think it's comforting to know that most people--in our experience-- at least are trying to transcend their prejudices. That to me is progress.

Back from Ethiopia, what I'm working on now

Dear friends,

Now that I have two small children, I'm finding very little time to write, so I'll make this brief. My wife and I have been back in New Mexico since last Wednesday. Before that we were in St. Louis for a couple of weeks so that my parents can have their special time with our newborn son Christian. After two weeks my dad and I went to Ethiopia to pick up Isaac, the new addition to our family.

Isaac is fun, playful, and affectionate--but also a hand full!! Since we got him when he was a year and a half, there's some real separation issues that he's dealing with. It's been a difficult adjustment for him and for us but I know that in his own time he'll settle down and realize that we're his forever family.

As far as ministry is concerned, the planning for the festival in Farmington for August 28th is going well. The churches involved have started an initiative called "United to Help." The premise is to unite the churches in the Four Corners region to help the community in practical ways while giving the Body of Christ a platform to share the gospel. The four pillars of "United to Help" are we give, we serve, we pray, we celebrate.

United to Help is taking on a life of its own now and, frankly, I'm blown away that the Lord is using me as a catalyst to get this started. The first all-church service project is on June 24th. The participating churches will be helping a charity called the Family Crisis Center, a shelter for battered women, move into their new facility. What's great about "United to Help" is that it's not a one time thing. It's a comprehensive vision that incorporates the elements of unity (like joint worship, joint prayer) with elements of service and evangelism (like joint food drives, joint service projects and an annual festival). The churches involved see United to Help as a long term vision that will take place year after year.

If you live in the Four Corners region and you'd like to know more about United to Help, shoot me an e-mail.

Okay, this is me thinking out loud, but I really think that "United to Help" can be a model for other towns and cities across the nation. Again, that could be just me getting ahead of God with my own agenda. Time will tell.

Thank you for your prayers and support.

While there is still time,

Aaron

If you'd like to make a donation to Great Commission Society, or check out my latest posts on my blog, go to:

http://www.aarondtaylor.com

Heading back

I'm sitting in my son's room at the Lucille Packard Children's Hospital in Palo Alto California. My son's surgery went well, thank God. He'll be released tomorrow and we'll head back to New Mexico. Not looking forward to the traffic in Pasadena. It was stand-still traffic through Pasadena on the way here. On second thought, maybe I'll get a chance to visit my friend Paul Alexander at Azusa Pacific University. Paul is the founder of Pentecostals and Charismatics for Peace and Justice, an organization seeking to restore the peace witness to today's 500 + million pentecostals and charismatics. No sweat. How fitting that Paul teaches at Azusa Pacific University, just around the corner from the famous Azusa street where the revival that launched world-wide pentecostalism began! I think I'm going to e-mail Paul right now and see if he'll be up for breakfast or lunch on Tuesday.

Other than that, I'm looking forward to getting back to New Mexico, and also visiting St. Louis in May. Speaking of May, the embassy date where I'll go and pick up Isaac in Ethiopia is May 24th. I'll be going by myself. It won't be easy, but it's the best option we have right now. Keep us in your prayers!

Sincerely,

Aaron